August 5th, 2009 -Diary Entry-

Dear Big Spoon,
I don't know if you'll ever get the chance to read this, or if I'll ever really let you. I don't know if I'll ever even have the chance to meet you. For all I know, there's a slight chance that you (as I know you) might not exist. I hope you do. I hope I get to meet you, and when I do - I hope I'm right.

For the last 43 days we've communicated almost every day- sometimes multiple times a day. I am completely smitten by you. You are charming, funny, and understanding. You are everything my ideal man would be, except you live half a world away.

Tonight, my heart hurts. Not of your doing, but just because I wish you could be here with me. How could we lead two such seperate lives and yet still manage to intertwine them? How could someone I never actually met, be so special to me? And most importantly- What is God's point- Why were we brough together, when we are physically so far apart? Was meeting you God's way of saying that I do deserve someone like you in my life? Doesn't matter- I don't think I could meet someone like you.

I'm so confused, wondering if you think of this too.

Yours,
Little Spoon