Sometimes love comes around...
So today we only had the chance to IM... You said you were going out to get some food and see a movie. I'm inclined to think it's with her, which bums me out.
I told you about my hard partying ways these last couple of days. I know how you feel hearing it- happy for me but slightly sad in a "wish I were there." sort of way.
You told me that I'm the only reason you'd come here right now. My coworker read it and I wanted so much just to tell you at that second how badly I wish you were able to come. I know you would- I'm almost afraid you might. I'm almost scared to meet you. You're currently one of the most amazing guys I know, I wouldn't know how to feel if that view changed for me.
I bet we never expected this to be so serious. You surprised me. I thought you were just some British pervert who was going to try to come to my town and take me out... All for one purpose: sex. Now you're telling me that you wouldn't do that to me- I'm too classy and I don't deserve that from you.
But boy, I wish I could meet you.
I haven't told you yet, but I'm on a dating website. I don't know why, but I can't bring myself to tell you. For one thing I feel that you'd rather not know. And for seconds, I know how we both felt when you told me about her... It'd be nice to avoid revisiting that. Originally my thought had been that it had been so easy to win you over with just my personality- my looks weren't taken into account. I figured maybe online dating would help remind people that I'm not just a pretty face. The sad part is though that at this point I have multiple possible suitors- yet it's you who I'm willing to give my heart to. I want nothing to do with these guys and every text, IM, or message I send feels half-hearted and wrong. I just keep wishing it was you.
The hardest part is feeling like this was fate, and not being able to know why we can't just be. It's beyond frustrating when you find something like this, and you can't even fully experience it.
I know you feel the same.
Lil Spoon
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